Tuesday, January 5, 2010

As of late, I have found myself becoming anxious more often, even stressed out. Now, it's easy to ask how someone like me who balances having 2 small sons, a husband, a full time job, a side business selling my own homemade herbals and candles, another side business doing online tarot readings and taking 4 belly dance classes a week (insert some sporadic performances as well), could ever get stressed out?......... Okay, so maybe the problem is more apparent to others than it has been to me. Fine. I get it.

I decided to use the beginning of the new year to take a good, hard look at what I'm doing and what I WANT to do. What I've found is that it's been far too long since I've been able to create something beautiful simply for the sake of creating something beautiful. I discovered this with the completion of my last two quilts. I loved making them. Every step was a joy for me, a quilter who hadn't even touched her sewing machine in MONTHS because I haven't had time. Just setting foot in the fabric store made me feel lighter.

Cutting and piecing the fabrics gave me a sense of happiness that I haven't felt in a long time. Watching something you make with your own two hands come together is a feeling like no other. And with those two quilts down, I already purchased fabric and have plans for at least 4 more. Something that I will follow through with, without a doubt. My father-in-law even put together a sewing room for my mother-in-law and myself. So now, on weekends, that's where I'm spending much of my time. And let me tell you, when it's snowing a windy out, there's nothing I like can think of that's more enjoyable than quilting in a room with ample table space and a wood stove!

During the weekdays, when I don't have access to my sewing machine, I have submitted myself to my newly discovered love of crocheting. After years of trying to figure it out, I have grasped the basics and am running with them as far as I can. I have a baby blanket and a baby sweater in the works and both are actually working according to the patterns.

It seems to be that creating is in my blood. It doesn't matter to me what it is, whether it's a beautiful meal, a crocheted cardigan, a quilt, a dance, or even this blog. Working with my hands, guiding the fabric through the sewing machine, feeling the yarn slide through my fingers, serving my family a meal, or feeling a veil gripped in my hands while I practice's all creating beauty and it's all a part of me. This is what I had lost sight of and what I needed to regain into my life. So if I have anything resembling a New Year's Resolution, it's simply to create. To add little bits of beauty into the world, both through creativity as well as random acts of kindness, and to me, those two things go hand in hand.


Kristi said...

I am so right there with you, almost, except that I can't get off my pregnant ass to meet my needs. Not sure if that makes me lazy or tired or depressed or a combination, but keep writing and linking on FB so you can inspire me to get back at the life I love so much!

Needs Coffee To Live said...

If you ask me, it makes you pregnant :-) When you get inspired go for it! But remember, you're pregnant, you're creating 24/7 right now! :-) One of my favorite sayings as a Mom is "I'm so crafty, I make people!"